Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Men, I am not against you, I am for you.

Dear Men
I am a feminist. I do not hate you.  I am not against you.  I am for you!

I am for you being shown as stronger than your sexual urges; I know you can think beyond skin, short skirts, fuckability, your dick.  I know you are able to think about whether your need for sex trumps other persons autonomy.  I stand with you against that shit.

I am for you being smart and capable.  Ads that show you as stupid, incapable of figuring out laundry are terrible.  You are smart and intelligent and adult.  I am for you being shown as capable in spheres outside your workplace, especially housework and parenting.  If you can build a house, run a company, balance the books, you can figure out how to change a diaper or run a vacuum cleaner.  I stand with you, sharing the load. 

I am for you being encouraged to show your emotions.  You are not less than because you cry, because you hug, because you kiss someone the same gender as you.  I am for you showing your vulnerability, I stand with you against stoic stereotypes.

I am for you having equal parenting rights, especially when it comes to part time work and work culture.  You should be able to have rights to part time/job-share work on par with your female counterparts who are parents. You should have equal leave rights when it comes to newborns. This should not only be enshrined in legislation but work culture as well.  I stand with you against father equalling full time working missing out on your children absentee.  Fuck that.

I am for you, I love you and the patriarchy fucks you over just as much as it does us.  I stand with you, strong and staunch.

NB: I apologise for the heteronormativity of the above - I did it delibrately to make an impact.  I apologise for erasing certain peoples and populations.


  1. Dear Men

    If you remember anything about feminists, other than that generally we like you, don't conflate Rad-fem with feminist. World of hurt waiting for you there.
    love Mindy

  2. Yes! Fucking hell, I HATE those ads that portray men as completely useless at home so their wife has to do all the laundry/cooking/cleaning with a bemused frown on her face.

    Last week on ABC radio, one of the "good guys" was getting men to call in and reveal what they had done to get out of housework. Like putting a red item in with the whites so they ruined the clothes and were never allowed to do the washing again. Right, so because of your selfishness, you have forced your partner, the woman you love, to be your cleaner. Charming.

  3. Blue Milk - Nothing like a good rant! Thanks for the comment!

  4. Lysana - I always wanted to have someone comment 'THIS'on my post so thank-you for fufilling that!

  5. Love the rant. Hate THOSE ads.